She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
