When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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