White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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