what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
