If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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