I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
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