You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
