I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Randomize
