whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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