Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
we made out on top of his cat.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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