what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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