I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
