They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
