I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
