so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I seem to have left my pride at pride
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize