Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
So vagazzling was a success
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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