$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
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