she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i think my mom watched the whole time
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
So vagazzling was a success
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
