he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Ladies don't puke and tell
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
