At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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