IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
