Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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