wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
