I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
