He kissed a someone with a penis
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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