Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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