Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
