just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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