dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
