i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
