Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
