Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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