she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize