My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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