I want to make a zoo with you.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
