I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
