I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He's on the porch naked. Help.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
