I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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