Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
