It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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