she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
