lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
