My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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