yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
