Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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