Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
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The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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