WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
