We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
