He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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