The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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