So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
