Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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