someone threw a dead crab at me
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Randomize
