Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
