oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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