"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
