youre lurking in front of me
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
It's never too late to be topless.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
